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B Fit, be very fit…16th December 2015

The school run uniform is sports kit of course. The car park is very social. There are equal numbers of mums and dads. Sometimes two parents drop off together, because it can be that much fun. The other day we all witnessed a screaming match between the stunning Columbian ex-wife of a handsome Argentinian and his new, as beautiful Italian/ Brazilian girl friend, while their five pupil children looked on. The trio were all dressed in training gear. Stella McCartney for adidas for the women and a bit of 2Xu (I know this because I read it stamped down the side of his cycling shorts, which believe me he COULD get away with, not sure the same applies to OH). All three wore pristine Nike Air Max trainers. We are a very glamorous parish community.

Lately I’ve been picking up training gear at Decathlon. The opening of the French sports superstore two years back, was an incredibly exciting moment in Ibiza’s history. Open all day every day, including Sunday, it was a veritable family day out, with scooters, footballs and hula hoops aplenty. As I watched these wretched women tear into each other, the man not knowing who to defend in front of the kids, I knew that Decathlon running trousers might only be a satisfying 10.99€ but they were no match for a Stella pair.

On a Wednesday one of my besties kicks her kids out the car particularly fast, does a handbrake turn in her Audi A7 and races down towards Ibiza Town, to the wonderfully sexy B-Fit. Places in Wednesday’s spinning class  are hard to come by and she’ll be damned if she was going to miss one.  This beautiful friend is classic Ibiza: she was out the night before at a private post- closing party, had three hours sleep, got up, pulled on her Stellas, hauled her three kids out of bed, breakfast on laps in the car, school drop off and then restoration at B-Fit. Like many her man was away working, so this little super-woman handles it all herself.

When B-Fit opened, I wasn’t sure it would be a go-er. From the outside it seemed a bit 90s suburban London. A sparkly rubber-smelling gym that everyone joins, nobody uses and after an empty year starts to look dusty and dated and smell sulphury from the unused shower rooms. Maybe it’s because we are not city people anymore but people have flocked to B-fit and maybe people have forgiven the 80s style name because it is truly state of the art. It is so Ibiza that the flyers for the ‘Masterclasses’ look like club flyers and there are classes with performing live Djs. The spinning class is held in an actual amphithetre with a full lighting rig. It is quite an experience, so I am told, I haven’t worked up the courage to try it yet, I am still hiding in the corner of the outpost of Passion Cafe that is located upstairs. Healthy detox juices, coffee with almond milk, superfoods salads and heavenly chocolate Brownies for when no one is looking.

Maybe its true draw is that everyone else who goes is so gorgeously easy on the eye, that even if you miss the last spot in the spinning class you might at the very least absorb their glows by osmosis and you can certainly covet their Nike Airs. It is so easy to miss the turn-off! The easiest way is to go under the flyover besides the big stone wall at the Jesus end of Eivissa and take the road back towards San Antonio. The turn-off comes up very quickly on your right. There is a big Mercadona supermarket right next door. You can become a full member but for visitors to the island it is also possible to buy set numbers of sessions for use over a shorter period of time. This makes great holiday sense. To replenish lost minerals, have post-workout protein or if you’re stupid like me, indulge in frothy smoothies and chocolatey goo.

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